A Valentine’s Day Message From Bobby V.
Ladies of the world, the nose of R&B icon Bobby V. is separating the sweet Valentine’s Day air into its component parts - the delicious scent of red roses, the intoxicating aroma of limited edition cherry M&Ms, those bangin’ perfumes you all got on, and oh yeah, oxygen and nitrogen. Yes, it is time for R&B superstud Bobby V. to deliver his annual Valentine’s Day love letter to the finest babygirls of planet Earth.
Allow me to lay things out for you like they’re my matching powder blue suit, vest and p-square the night before a sensuous engagement: it has been a difficult year for the kid BV. My “Days Since Last MegaHit” counter has reached a very unsexy 2571. When it was announced Bobby V. secured the Red Sox managerial position, I thought they were talking about me. Girl, your boy Bobby V. showed up for an arbitration deposition for Kevin Youkilis. Yours truly was prohibited from entering Fenway Park and was subsequently thrown to the curb by surly Boston security guards and only then did that dude Bobby V. learn he would not be the man to break the curse of the Bambino. Dreams shatter, boo, and there’s nothing you can do.
Nothing, that is, except for this one request, my sweet, angelic, lovin’-how-you-smell-ic beautiful baby. One request that will enliven the soulful spirit of an R&B legend. One act of kindness that will save me from the deep, dark depths of heartbreak and broken promises.
Let me see that butt.
Any of you. I wanna see that butt, girl. Please. You are my moon and my stars and my everything so let me peek at that butt. I need to. I’m hurting for that butt. Gimme that butt. What do I gotta do? I could spot you a copy of 2005’s self-titled debut. Or 2007’s Special Occasion. Or my latest, 2011’s Fly on the Wall. Sounds like if you show me that butt thrice, you got yourself 75% of the Bobo V. discography. I will be waiting. Bobby V., R&B’s Get Down Kid, is lonely. And he needs that butt.
NOTE: Bobby’s 2010 V-Day message can be found HERE.
