We Love Our Children
Neighbor 1: You see the sign the Gormans put up?
Neighbor 2: Yeah, “WE love our children”? Like I don’t love my kids?
Neighbor 1: I mean they didn’t underline the WE, but I can tell they meant to emphasize the WE.
Neighbor 2: So now I’m thinking, “What, now I gotta put up a sign?”
Neighbor 1: Yeah like, “We also love our children”?
Neighbor 2: “Equally if not more than the Gormans.”
Neighbor 1: “I refurbished my basement and bought my kids a Pop N Shoot. His basement’s got puddles. You do the math.”
Neighbor 2: Then it’s obvious I’m only doing it in response to his sign.
Neighbor 1: And my kids are wondering, “Hey dad, what took you so long to put up a sign?”
Neighbor 2: But I’m all, “Maybe if your weird jagged chin didn’t dig into me so much when I give you a piggy back ride I’d have gotten around to a sign a little quicker.”
Neighbor 1: We should rip it down.
Neighbor 2: I already did.
Neighbor 1: Good.
A car zooms by.
Neighbor 2: Somebody should really do something about that.
