Full House Finale Fan Fiction
Ding Dong!
Danny opened the door and gasped.
“Pam?”
And there stood his wife, a beautiful blonde decaying undead zombie woman. She immediately bit his face off and dripped his blood from her mouth as she entered the living room.
Once inside, she gobbled up her three daughters, and also DJ’s hunky boyfriend Steve.
Next she grabbed the twin Katsopolis boys and popped those two bite sized babies in her mouth. Chomp chomp.
She let Joey whimper in the corner and set her sights on her final target, Jesse, who was pinned against the wall. The hideous zombie slithered closer and closer to take a bite out of Jesse Katsopolis’s Elvis-loving face.
“Just watch the hair!” said Jesse.
But before Pam could taste his sweet Greek cheek meat, a smelly toe crept up under her nose. She took one sniff and threw what was left of her head back in disgust.
Jesse’s eyes followed the toe to a leg to jean short overalls to the face of Kimmy Gibbler.
“Come with me if you want to live,” she said.
“Have mercy!”
Joey, Kimmy and Jesse ran down into the basement recording studio, locking the door behind them.
“What are we going to do?” asked Joey, sobbing into his hockey jersey.
“I got it! I have a shotgun down here,” said Jesse.
Joey and Kimmy were confused.
“For when the Rippers get out of line.”
They nodded.
Jesse continued, “But there’s only one bullet left. Who has the best shot?”
“I think it’s me,” said Joey in the voice of John Wayne.
“Not so fast, it’s me, and I’m hunting wabbit,” he added as Elmer Fudd.
“Let’s all just eat some jello pudding-“
BAM.
Kimmy made eye contact with Jesse through the hole he just shot through Joey’s head.
“That was the only bullet!” she said.
“It had to be done.” said Jesse.
“You’re right.”
They could hear Pam breaking through the door upstairs. There wasn’t much time.
“So now what?” asked Kimmy. “It’s just the two of us, alone in this recording studio. No food, no water, and a bloodthirsty zombie waiting upstairs to feast on our flesh!”
Shards of broken door tumbled down the stairs. The zombie’s moans grew louder.
“It’s all over! We’re trapped!”
Jesse placed a single finger on her lips.
“Shhhh.”
He kissed her with a passion that had been building within him since they first met. Pam broke through the door and began to stumble down the stairs. The rest of the Tanners, now zombies themselves, followed suit.
Jesse and Kimmy continued furiously making out as the zombies reached the studio. The pack of Tanner corpses climbed all over the two and fought over who could eat the brains. And yet, even as they were being devoured, the beautiful lovers’ tongues never came untwined.
